Tonight, the baby that saved my butt from hell fire and damnation was born to an until then normal girl who have never touched a boy in her entire life. My Abba Father, Daddy sent his Son to this dusty earth He made to kick around here and shake things up for a few years before He took Satan out back and kicked him in the face. This is the night that changed my life before i had it.

i knew she wouldnt. Strength. Discernment. Help. Protection. Apparently im still talking to him. I dont how i feel about it. Peace. Love. Amen.

Urielwanxbjcioeuia i just dont know.

You do some interesting stuff, Ya know it? I love Emily with my whole heart, and shes just what i need here, but woah, Man. Shes got it tough. So much on her shoulders, so much in her life changin. I know Youre with her and Jon (and me) as they go through all this, but help me to be so there for them too. And help them to know that im there and i will do ANYTHING for them. Pufalicious apparently has some struggles too. And now Jennie needs to talk things out. Rebecca and i, however, are feeling better about Wesley. Which is good. I think it was just a real bad weekend. Watch out for Emily this weekend as she tells her parents. Strength. Levelheadedness. Calmness. Help. Love. Amen.

You just exploded everything in my world tonight. Emily? What? I cant... Woah. Help help help help help help. Thanks. Love

O i want? What do You need? What do i need? Help, help, help, help.

O I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. Help me, please. Im in desperate need of some decision making help. I just have no idea. Im SO confused. Too confused. What do

Thank You for the two best friends that anyone could ever ask for.

? Your glory and i want her to be open to that.

? way. Help me to remember all those things too. I love her absolutely to death. I want her to not be stressed and not be unhappy. I want You to use her to

? without it. Be with Sara St. Give her discernment about the future. Help her to remember that Youve got it under control and shes just a tool for You any

? ing You need it to be for me and everything i need it to be for me. I dont want the people there to get in the way of whats going on. Though i am super e

? . Sometimes i just forget how much i like it. Im not used to it AT ALL. Be with this musical. Oh my goodness. I hope this retreat this weekend is everyth

? Give me boundry lines. Very thick ones. Take away this funny feeling of not wanting it. Because i really like this relationship and i feel like its right

? nna hurt her. Help her see that, please. So uh, thanks for a boyfriend :] haha. Hes a good one, isnt he? I know theres stuff we need to talk about. Give

? iend. I love her so much and id do anything for her. I want her to know that. And i NEED her to know that she can trust me. With anything. That im not go

? . I dont like it. I hate being okay with the fact that i did. I hate feeling like itd just be so much easier just to give in. Its just SO HARD. I never r

? else too. Basically, i love every one Youve put in my life. Im still struggeling with language tonight i got a little loose. No excuses, it just happened

? Woah its been too long.
Thanks:
friends. Wesley. Rebecca, Sarah, Valerie, Sam, Zack, Kayla, Ashley, Laura. Sterling. Emma! Hannah and Rachel! Everybody

? ever, too. Im incredibly lucky that i got her. I cant thank You enough for what this summer has been. I love you!

? Im ready to take what ive learned and make the most of it. Here i come, world this world outside harding. Im scared, but youve given me the best roomate

? lt and seen! The sadness weve overcome. The community i have backing me up. Who am i? Wholly, holy, and dearly loved child of God, thats who. Im so lucky

? Sara. And who am i? Why am i so special? And the people and kids ive met! The things ive learned! The goals ive met! The new ones ive set! The joy ive fe

? ow who loves me. Which feels so good. I cant explain how much love ive felt this summer. Camper love too! Thats why its so awesome! Its so crazy, becomin

? Uh, best summer ever. It was honestly epic. I learned so much about myself. I know my quirks, i know my problems, my sins, my jealousies, my skills. I kn

Why am i so easily made jealous? Most of its not that big ofa deal. I dont wanna be that way, it just happens. Help me stop being so jealous. Please.

Help me say the right things. Help me be the best i can be for you. Help me.

Can You make this a short one? Please? With minimal back pain too. :/

I like this whole 'reading the Bible again' thing. Its legit. I hate that it took me this long though. I figured its only right to start from the beginning of the NT again since i didnt go quite right last time and i didnt finish anyway and it was in a different Bible. So there. My family hasnt been THAT BAD the past few days. Thats always nice. And talking to Nick today was fun. I dont get to see him alot. My poor grandmomma though. Makes me sad. Lawrence turns 18 tomorrow! Im so siked! Im so happy and thankful to have her in my life no matter how ridiculous she can be. Ill miss her somethin awful. Camp started today!! Be with the staff! Let them be open to let You work through them like i know they can. I love the ones i know more than anything, and i cant wait to get to know the other better this summer. I miss my granddaddy. And my grandpa. Terribly. I love You. Goodnight

And then im home for 2 weeks! So i can birthday and such :] the 4th i go back for jrh arts and crafts. :] then im home for like 4 days, 2 or so of which my roomate and Rachels roomate are coming in town and were all moving into rachels house and showing them around memphis. :] a day later i leave for a week in new orleans and then come back and go back for jrh 3 after like 2 days. The first week of august ill probably end up at a beach with my friends. :] And thats my summer.

Wednesday alot of my class is meeting at the zoo since we didnt go junior year like every other class. Thursday im spending the day with rachel and spending the night with her because her little sisters 6th grade graduation is friday morning. Monday is the first real day my friend Hannah is back from england so were gonna be together the better part of the day to look at her pictures and talk about everything she saw. And i leave wednesday for orientation and dont come back till the 18th!

WHAT SHOULD I DO? I dont know if i should go back, but i sure as heck want to. Would that be bad? I know i need to let go, but maybe not just yet...

This whole not being able to sleep thing is so lame. But i guess its good for something. Tonight was really awesome. Like yeah, we gossiped alot at the end, but the beginning with the praying and such, that was good. I like that. Especially brobro. That was TOO precious. I love him. :] and Angela and Becca of course. Theyre too good. I love them more than anything. Theyre my babies. Thank You for them. Be with those precious children when i go. Help me to keep up with them. I dont wanna be one of 'those' kids that leaves for college. I couldnt stand myself if i did that. Precious. Ill miss em like heck, thats forsure.

Alright. Somethins up. Nothins felt right for a while. Like i feel weird about doin goodnights and its mostly becase im just not payin attention to You. This limbo is ridiculous. Like one minute im ready to save the world and then next i hardly care. I dont understand. Im scared of whats goin on with me. I dont think im doin this just to do somethin. I think its real. I think the way i feel is real. Its hypocracy. Its evil? Its 'sin invading my habit patterns' and crap like that. Im disenchanted with alot of stuff and people. I think its wrong that im just waiting for this summer to come along so i can get on some high.

Whats up with me?

Sara
El
the Babbs
Drew
Ethan
Jennie
Jacob
Danielle
Diariesss
stress
tiredness
Maria
time.
Peace

the Stanfields

INTERVIEWS!

Mr Bodiford

Well, spring breaks over, here comes fourth quarter. Here comes the caps and gowns, the tears and laughs and stuff like that. But here comes the fights too, apparently. Hannah and i are feelin weird about certain people lately. We dont really like it, but i guess You gotta plan for it all. Lets go with that. So that decision thing was made once again. I think i know what i wanna do. WhaddYa think? Please like it. I do alot. Tweak it like Ya like though; Youre in charge, after all. And im scared. Growin up, movin away, meetin new people, facing new gaints. But i like to look at it this way, You did a ballin job of preparin me. Those kids Youve given me, theyre like no others. Im crazy blessed in people. And in pasts. Golly it was rough gettin here, but i wouldnt change a thing. I like to think i turned out pretty darn well. Thanks for that. Be with Ethan and Cooper and their parents, those precious boys. Goodnight, i love You

So, its the performance weekend of my LAST play. For 4 years ive dedicated every ounce of my heart, body, mind, spirit, strength, blood, sweat, tears, and grades to harding theatre. Ive Met some of my biggest influences, gotten close to more absolutely wonderful people that i could count, it brought me out of my shell and my awkward phase, gave me friends who have changed everything for me, a reason to get up and go to school every morning, more memories, pictures, and laughs than anything else possible, the best hugs Memphis has to offer, its just been an incredible blessing and i dont know what im gonna do without it. But thank You so much for all of it. Every single last thing thats happened there. All of it.

Sara
The UE girl's family and friends.
The playyy
Jacob Allan
Emma
Ethan
Gradessss
*Melora :]
Futures
Bethany
stuffffff

Ethan,
Emma,
Grades,
life,
friends
future
bahas
Your plans
Jake
Kristi
Clint
Chris's friends
the show
Christina and Johnny :]
Quel and football
Angela, Elena, Becca
AP essays
paths
dreams
downers
uplifters
Missy :]
James 4:14-15
Velvet Elvis
El
Emily
Jennie
unfailing love, hope, understanding
Whit :/
penny wars!
AMEN

Whitney's great grandmother.
Ethan.
Sanity.
Melora Lane.
El.
Friends in general.
Futures.
Jennie.
Play.
SHR.
Love :]

Well God, i dont even know where to start with this weekend. Quake was off the hook. The kids, the fun, Jackie and Clarie, Luke, the other jr guides, everything was amazing. You were in all of it and just as abundant as ever. The clouds on the way back, the talks with people along the way, EVERYTHING, God. Just woah.thank you so so so much for makin my last CTK Quake an exceptionally terrific one. On a different note, El. Be with her as shes hurting and confused and lost. Thank you that she has Emily there to be there for her. You are truely a providing God. Help, save, comfort and defend her. Send us out with a passion for You and keep my heart on fire for you whether on the mountain, on the way down, at the bottom, or in the valleys. Thank You for the team members i got to talk to and for their encouraging words. You are tremendous. I love You.

Those were the best goodnights ive ever heard. They were supposed to be from over the past few weeks and stuff and the things that some people said... Saras and Justins especially got to me. They let it be known that they really hadnt seen Him that much, but how what we were doing and what that whole 22 hours was about was exactly what they had been needing. EXACTLY. Who are we that we should be allowed to affect lives? Our help comes from the Lord. Oh golly. There He was, chillin with a buncha kids around a fire in the cold, in the dark, in the woods. Showin Himself and how He is. He is WITH us. This was my tabernacle moment, if i think about it. God was never so clear to me as then. And Hes stayed, thank God. So heres my goodnight, 2009. I saw God in seeing God. Amen, Amen. Come Lord Jesus. This is most certainly true.

But i know i, at least, didnt go back the same this time. I didnt just go back refreshed and ready to love Jesus, i went back ready to change something. In my life. Hopefully in other peoples lives too. OONCE started a goodnights thread that means the world to us now. Were on vol IV since we keep adding people. Were just missing Keke, Haley, and Shamika. I love it and them so much. And i do goodnights with Jennie and Elizabeth and Emily everynight. That means so much. Because that way, even if we have the worst days, we challenge each other to find where God was in it. We know Hes there, we just gotta pay attention. Thats it. And the wilderness reunion. I think i was supposed to leave my notbook at home. It really didnt change that much of anything. It was the most laid back, yet REALLY EFFECTIVE worship ever. 13 of us, all but 3 being teenagers, stood around a campfire at the wilderness campsite in the middle of december in the freezing cold and listened to me and Bisuit talk on and on about why its important to see God outside of Lakeshore and how its okay to not, but its such a good thing. And then we did goodnights.

So 2009 was my Exodus. It wasnt about me, though. It wasnt about my going anywhere. It was about God making Himself known to me. Not that there were 400 metaphorical years of silence to come back from or anything, but i sure learned alot. The beginning of 2009 wasnt great. Grandpa died, Mel had hip surgery, i watched her hurt and recover. What i didnt see was how God was in that healing. I didnt see that God sat on that row with us during singing chapels and we had the best times of any chapels. I didnt see God in saying those desert island scriptures with such gusto. Now i see that He was sure as anything there, but then i sure didnt. And summer rolled around. And camp was great the first 2 weeks. But i had that 'thanks, God, for these awesome things' mentality. Senior high came, though. And with it, worship planning. Thats when it all started to change. We were talking about seeing God. God let me process and ramble on about how we need to be able to see Him and we need to let other people know that they have that opportunity. WOAH. So we passed out strings and told people what to think when they saw them. And then we all went back to our houses.